Is God Still Good??

Even in the noise, God will speak to you. I discovered tonight that though there may be noise consuming your ears and people on each side of you - Holy Spirit will still speak to your heart in a way so soft, but yet so distinct that everything else fades as you hear what the Lord is trying to tell you.

Have you ever noticed that there are times in your walk with the Lord where you are struggling to get your mind around something and things just aren't making sense? It's like you know all the stories, you've seen Him show up in a great way in your life, you KNOW He's real but yet sometimes there are just these moments where we stop and think "Where are you in this God?" This kind of standstill has happened in my life recently where I am watching God bless many people around me with healing, increase in finances, a family given a house TOTALLY rent free and I'm just watching God bless all of these people - but not me. Here I am sitting in my room of unanswered prayer waiting for Him to do for me what I see Him do in the lives of so many others but yet, I feel like I'm on a stand still watching other people play the game while I'm benched from the team.

As I've gone though this time questioning and sadly to say sometimes doubting God, tonight, He stopped me dead in my tracks. The Wednesday of every month my church has a service that is full of nothing but worship and prayer. The first song that was played tonight was about God's goodness. The service going on around me, I was signing, people were clapping next to me and I got the urge to stop singing and to just listen. I then felt the Lord speaking to me saying "Do you still believe that I am good in the middle of your circumstances?" I said "Yes, God, I do." I then felt the strongest conviction as I felt this truth go into the core of my being "Then why don't you act like it? Don't just wait for me to DO something for you so you are convinced of my love and goodness. Live out my goodness in everything you do because you love and trust me." WOW....I know right!

It was then that I discovered I was having a performance driven relationship with God. I sometimes feel like others want me around and love me just for what I can do for them. If I have nothing to give, they don't want anything to do with me. It's when I have something they want that they are then enjoying relationship with me. As much as I HATE feeling that way, I discovered tonight that I put God in the same box other people put me and it devastated me. Why can't I just be thankful enough to God for my life! I should have been dead by now given the way I used to live. I would have never thought I would be at this place in life that I am today but yet there is always something I am ungrateful for.

The more I walk with God the more I discover that the further away we get from our past and the first time we encountered Him, the more entitled we tend to become. When we first are introduced to Jesus we realize how GOOD He is and how in need we are for Him. As time goes by, we (or at least myself) start to forget how much He has already given us and we lose sight that even though He may not be answering our current prayer right away, He saved our live over 2,000 years ago and that is the most important thing of all.

With all that said, let me encourage you with this. The next time you find yourself comparing yourself to others, doubting God in your life, looking at what you don't have - sit back, breathe and let God talk to you about your situation. No matter what happens is God still good, yes. Does God still love you no matter your actions, YES! Even though it may not look like it now, is God still Just? Yes. He's in every situation, every life, every thought - we just have to choose to look at Him rather than what's surrounding us.